This is a recent creation for Aviva. I think she looks amazing in it, don't you? The headscarf was her idea. She is my accessorizing queen. 



So topic of the day is BAD TODDLER BEHAVIOR.
Nobody that has one of these people living with them is immune. Even my friend Lavonne, who, in addition to being of the smartest people I know (She kicks my butt mercilessly on Word Challenge. It is entirely possible the reason she can beat me though is that she MAY have learned a wee bit of vocabulary getting her PhD at Oxford in English), well, my point is that even SHE can't get her darling 3 year-old Matilda to get dressed in the morning. My other friend Kelly, one of the most patient mothers ALIVE, recently told me that her daughter Emily's attitude has clearly illustrated why China enforces the 1 child only rule. Her husband Andrew, when the pediatrician asked why they brought Emily in, stated in his formal British accent that they were there due to 'generalized naughtiness'.  While it is nice to know I'm not alone in my recent  torture-by-toddler sessions, it got me wondering what tricks people have (aside from the usual bribery and pleading we dole out at our house) for dealing with:
-refusal to sleep
-refusal to take clothing off or put it on
- tooth brushing hell
-meal time nightmares


So far, this is what we've come up with:
1- refusal to sleep: Klemen puts Naor in the car and drives around the neighborhood while listening to Naor's favorite song repeatedly (unfortunately for my husband it is The Ramones punk version of the theme song to Spiderman these days) until he passes out (Naor, not Klemen although he often looks ready to by the time it works)


2. refusal to change clothing: I bought a box of race car  themed Band-Aids. Each morning I stick one on the shirt I want him to wear and tell him to put on his 'Race car shirt'. So far it has worked.  I also bought gummy bear vitamins from the health food store and as a last resort (this is often for putting shoes on) I bribe him with one gummy bear per foot (they can only eat up to 3 per day so you really can only put shoes on 1.5 times in 24 hours)


3. tooth brushing hell- The electric toothbrush is a must since you only have about 30 seconds to get in and out. There are two methods for brushing an unwilling toddlers teeth; either piss them off so badly by trying to brush their teeth that they are screaming so you have access to the teeth (my husband uses this method often in combination with the 'hold-the-jaw-open-like giving-a-dog-medication method' ) or my old time favorite: bribery yet again. Since you can't give gummy bears as a bribe for this one, I use Spiffies. Spiffies are flavored towelettes treated with Xylitol (strengthen the tooth enamel) that Naor loves to rub his teeth with AFTER brushing. He knows he can't get one until I brush him. Oh, and I also threaten to call his dentist, the beloved Dr. Brent, on the phone and tell him if Naor won't brush. 


4. dealing with meal hell- these days, we try to make as many meals as possible in a dipping format. Naor has survived mostly on apples dipped in peanut butter, raisins, and honey for almost a week now. Pasta with a small bowl of red sauce and pesto so he can dip, baby carrots in hummus etc...It's really very deconstructivist of us, I know, but hey, it's been working.


Well, send me your ideas. I'm ready to open a toddler boot camp I'm going so insane!!!!!

Topic of the day is Chinese food. I'll preface this by saying that while I'm not Chinese per se, I am about as close as one can get in terms of being familiar with the cuisine as I am after all a New York Jew. I don't know what it is about us and Chinese food but Jews and egg rolls go together like peanut butter and jelly. So, you can imagine my great disappointment when I find out that there is actually very little GOOD Chinese food in Hawaii. Here's my run down of the good, bad, and pitifully neutral:


1. Most Misrepresented - Legend Restaurant- I can get past the tanks of live lobsters and crabs in the dining room (I typically take the lobster tank as a cue not to eat at places, this feature needs to be phased out worldwide), I can get past the freakish napkins that are treated with waterproofing chemicals to render them annoyingly non-absorbent (I know because as always, we had a large water spill at our table), and I can even get past the Bar-Mitzvah-in-a-banquet-hall themed decor. The thing that bothered me though is that the food was so oily I could have opened a Jiffy Lube at our table. I literally wanted to stop at Queen's Hospital and have my stomach pumped, at least rolled one of those old-fashioned stone olive oil presses- on the way home. They also did that thing where they brought the rice to the table after we had eaten most of our other food so that was a bummer. However, I will say that the staff was EXCEEDINGLY nice and pleasant and accommodating to children AND there was a screaming freaking out toddler at another table who (thank you!) made my kids look well behaved despite Naor coming very close to realizing the afore mentioned lobster tank was LIDLESS.


2. Most Overhyped- PF Chang's- Ok, I will admit that the 3 story tall horse statue wearing a lei is awesome and the Terracotta Warrior type decor is cool (but NOT the hideous large chunky amber stones on rods by the bar that look like oversized Phyllis Diller jewelry). The food is 'OK' and that's my problem with it. If nobody made a big hype about the place I'd never mention it either way , but 'good' is so pushing it in describing the food. Slightly above neutral would be accurate. 


I do give it props on the following: they give Wikistix to kids-those colorful wax sticks that bend into shapes and keep the kids entertained for about 5 minutes (which is 4 minutes and 38 seconds more than the crayons most places give do), they have desserts in shot glasses (albeit mediocre ones) but still, anyone who knows me knows that is my DREAM dessert, to have just a small amount of a bunch of different ones instead of one big gluttonous one. 


BUT ok, what is up with the 'training menu' they have. Someone please explain it to me because despite having spent almost a decade of my life in college, I am perplexed which PR genius decided to corner the market on triathletes who go out for Chinese food but then need assistance as to what they should order that will work with their nutritional needs during training season. It also makes the already cluttered menu look even more exhausting to read. Also, our waiter covered Naor's area on the table with saran wrap (I presume so he doesn't have to deal with rice cleanup duty after we left that does sucks) which Naor proceeded to pull right off the table and try to suffocate himself with by stretching it across his face, so that began an admittedly strained relationship with our server from the outset and only got worse from there. 


3. Best Service, Best Food, Best Decor- Hands down, Little Village is the BEST Chinese place on the island. I even exempt them from my 'not eating at any place that hangs meat from hooks in the window' rule. (refer to above lobster tank scenario-same rule applies for hanging duck meat). EVERYONE that works there is so pleasant and efficient. They are sweet with kids (and a bonus is that I delivered a baby for one of the server's wives) and have a very family-friendly menu (I'm not talking about the arbitrary crinkle cut fries that are on there). They do not use MSG at all. One caveat, make a reservation. It is crowded, loud, and your car almost has to be L-shaped to squeeze in or out of the spots in their parking lot.  Try to sit in the back area in the more private village home room. It is so pretty. My kids also love the bird sounds and butterflies on the ceiling. 


SO there you have it. Any other suggestions, please let me know (and DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT say Happy Days Restaurant in Kaimuki because it is gross- I don't care what anyone says.

I will try and keep up with what's going on around Oahu for pregnant moms, babies, and kids. e-mail me if you have anything you'd like to add. I love dragging my kids around to try new places! Start with this:

STUFF TO BUY AND PLACES TO GO SHOP

First, check out Kathryn Drury Wagner's new book The Ultimate Guide to Shopping on Oahu. Kathryn is the fabulous new mom of gorgeous baby Zoe and the managing editor of Honolulu Magazine, and her book has great stores listed in it with excellent reviews.

Next head over to Shop Toast which just opened http://www.toast-ed.com/shoptoast/ They are the awesome designers who created my 7 year-old daughter Aviva's birthday favors last year and now have a retail store and the stuff is FABULOUS and I 'm not just saying that because they called me an 'uber cool mommy guru' in their blog http://www.toast-ed.com/wordpress/?p=15

Then swing by The Blue Buddha on Kapiolani. They will satisfy all of your style cravings. Owner Budi Staven is a smart buyer and wildly entertaining to talk to about the fashion industry. Not only is he a 14 year veteran of working as a designer in NYC for Cynthia Rowley and DKNY but he was my Fashion 101 teacher at UH and knows everything about clothing the human brain could ever know. He's basically a local version of Christian Siriano from Project Runway but with much much cooler hair.

PLACES TO EAT, PLACES NOT TO EAT

Here is the part of the blog where I review restaurants for you and here's the reason why. Other local food writers are either absurdly pretentious considering it's Hawaii we are talking about or they are disturbingly lenient about what qualifies as food (example: anything with mayo in it is not worth reviewing). I'm also sick of people proclaiming restaurants are kid friendly just because they have french fries and grilled cheese on the menu. I'm not even the type of mom to condone school lunches so don't get me started on 'kid's menus'. Nasty stuff. Ok, so the winners are:

MOST PRETENTIOUS SUSHI ON THE ISLAND AND OBVIOUSLY NOT KID FRIENDLY:Nobu is just about the dumbest place I've ever eaten (which says a lot since once my husband and I and I went to a place while traveling in post war Bosnia that seated us and brought us a menu, waited around while we decided on what to order only to then inform us that no food was available as they had not had electricity for several days). First of all, it is really dark in there. Romantic is one thing, needing a mini flashlight to read the menu is another story (hint: if the waitress has one in her pocket to lend to customers, they need to improve the lighting). Also, the font on the menu was like negative 12. If I squinted it looked like it was written in binary code. Then the waitress informed us 'the portions are small, you might want to order more'. Um, excuse me, did you just basically proclaim the portions are skimpy? (she did score points for being honest though BTW). I was sorely dissapointed that the $7 asparagus tempura tasted like, well, asparagus tempura. I'm not sure why I thought it would be better than the Hanaki tempura at Ranch 99 mall that is 3 for $1 but it wasn't. The food also looked NOTHING like it did in the photo shoot from when it was reviewed in Honolulu Magazine. BOOOOoooo.

Instead try good ole Genki Sushi. Since the food is on conveyor belts (FYI I wish all restaurants had this feature), your kids get to eat IMMEDIATLY upon sitting down so there is no time to make potions out of the salt, pepper, or condiments, poke each other with utensils, or cry over dumb broken or dropped crayons while trying to color on the (already) wet and ripped kids menu most places give. Also, there is no candle on the table for ambience (translation they won't be melting straws and pieces of hair they pull out of their head for fun). There is something for everyone there from the most basic (avocado maki, edamame and mochi ice cream for kids) to the best spicy tuna on the planet.
TIPS- try to sit where you can watch them prepping the sushi; kids love watching the rectangles of rice pop up from the nigiri machine and the chef using the blow torch to sear things
QUIRKY THINGS- (1) count how many times the staff refills your drink or asks if you want a drink refill, it's some serious beverage overkill (2) the entire staff's constant shouting to welcome people in Japanese (Irashamase!) each time a new customer comes in is aggravating-especially when they do it in the middle of you ordering (3) I don't get if you are supposed to tip 15-20% like in a usual restaurant or less since it is conveyor belt style

DECIEVINGLY NOT CHILD FRIENDLY AT ALL: California Pizza Kitchen (CPK) is where all of my friends who claim to 'not really eat out' go when they do go out. Why? First of all, the tables are so close to each other, there is absolutely no room for error in terms of toddlers tossing things (case in point, all of my toddler's crusts came dangerously close to landing in our neighbor's drink and a Matchbox car actually hit some guy's foot). Second of all, the macaroni and cheese everyone feeds their kids there is 90% buttermilk, 5% butter, 4% cheese and 1% pasta. You practically have to put your kids on Lipitor if you're gonna let them eat it. I'm not saying you should be all alfalfa sprouts and wheat germ but it seems like you'd be better off giving them a Snickers bar as a meal since... THAT is only $1. I mean, what's the deal with spending $70 at a pizza place? Also, I'm sorry, putting BBQ chicken on a pizza is not a good idea no matter what anyone says. There's fusion food and then there's just mixing too many types of leftovers into one dish. I think many of their pizzas fall under the latter category.

If I want to spend $70 on food, I'll go to Whole Foods and buy a gallon of milk. Better yet, I'll buy some wood burning oven pizza there because it is better than CPK, you can buy a slice any size you want (you pay by weight), and you don't have to deal with the absolutely IRRITATING catch phrase that all the CPK servers have to cheerily chirp at you each time they come to the table, 'How is everything tasting?' It just drives me nuts.
TIPS- sign your kids up for the keiki club at Whole Foods. If you show your card each time you come to shop there, they get to pick either an apple, a string cheese, or a fruit leather for free.
QUIRKY THINGS- (1)the checkout setup is weird. You have to awkwardly reach over the counter to get your bags if you go to the first register in each row; just a design flaw I always notice when I go there (2) As noted by my friend from Stroller Strides, they reheat the Chinese food by microwaving it in disposable plastic containers which is just toxic and wrong (3) if you use the biodegradable utensils on any of the hot food, they melt

STUFF TO DO WITH KIDS :

- join Baby Hui (www.thebabyhui.org) or at least come to one of the free play days they sponsor

- hang out at Island Monkeez a fun, clean, super friendly play space inside Vim n Vigor Health
Food store in Pearl City, they even watch your kids while you shop or meet with friends at the
cafe. Flo, the owner is so sweet and patient with children it almost borders insanity. They also
have art and cooking classes for kids.

- bring big pieces of cardboard and a kite to Kaka'ako Park and slide down the hills then run
around on the windy hills with the kite. There are also several covered picnic areas and it is
right next to the Children's Discovery Center